Birthday Surprise

I can imagine how my mother must have felt when she visited with her mother for the first time after my family moved from her hometown in Massachusetts to North Carolina.  I can imagine that neither Mom nor Grandma could hold back the tears of joy when they embraced after that first extended absence from each other.  Though their worlds had changed with the addition of much space between them, Grandma felt overwhelming joy in reuniting with her child and Mom felt overwhelming joy in reuniting with her mother.

I felt that overwhelming joy when my own parents came Friday to deliver a cake and a birthday present to me before the state-wide shelter-in-place order was to begin later that evening.  I was having a particularly tough time trying to telework as it was the last day of the pay period and I’m the timekeeper for my office.  I was trying to help Noah and Samuel with their schoolwork while I tried working remotely for the first time since the pandemic started.  Eventually, all hell broke loose when I found out that we needed to record our telework hours and I got overwhelmed.  Then, just as I walked away from my computer, I saw my parents’ car pull up and I grabbed the kids to bring them outside.  I thought my parents may just be driving by to wave, so I didn’t want them to go before we all got to see them.  They stopped, though, and gave me some birthday stuff and gave the kids some treats.  I was overwhelmed with joy.

I’ve had more positive times over the past few days, like the feeling of joy when my parents made their surprise visit.  The weekend was especially nice and I’ve tried to remain focused on God.  I’m still experiencing some crippling anxiety, especially at night.  When I’m optimistic, I feel like my Heavenly Father is looking out for me and will provide for my needs.  Why can’t I always believe that, though?  Maybe that’s what God is working on inside of me.

My dad whittled, sanded and stained this clinging cross for me.

Slow Weekend

It’s a good thing that no one was in a hurry to do anything this weekend because I was seemingly worthless.  With literally nowhere to go all weekend, I wasn’t even been able to find the energy to fold the laundry for the week.  Laundry is a task I’d normally have to squeeze in at the last-minute Sunday evening because we’ve had so much to do during the weekend.  I’ve often fantasized about having extra time, or sometimes, just to have enough time.  Now, I’ve got nothing but time for the foreseeable future and I already miss the hustle and bustle.  I feel lost without it.  I’m looking hard for the silver lining in this pandemic.  I thought at least I’d enjoy the extra time.

I want to use the extra time to grow in my faith.  I’ve spent a lot of time reading and praying.  Last weekend, I believe I got a message from God letting me know that He’s here.  Since then, I’ve been trying hard to get another message from God.  Maybe too hard.  In a time of instant gratification, I want another message from God.  I want the message that everything is going to be OK.  What I have learned is that Jesus dealt with anxiety just like me.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed to the Father three times requesting that He take Jesus’s burden.  Sorry my message is not very uplifting, but God knows my trouble.  He knows it and He’s conquered it.

Lord Jesus, I pray that you show me how to accept the peace that you give.

Tim

God’s Tools – Possibly You

It’s funny to me how God uses unexpected people to get through to me sometimes.  If you read my post yesterday, I referenced a short sermon by Max Lucado.  According to Wikipedia, Max Lucado has written nearly 100 Christian books, so he’s a popular guy in Christian bookstores.  I guess because Lucado had authored a children’s book I once picked up, I’ve always thought of him as not very deep, though.  I had nothing against him, but I simply identified him as an author of Christian children’s books.  Then God led me to his sermon just as I needed to hear it and my view of Mr. Lucado changed instantly to that of the authoritative Christian figure that many others have seen him as for years.

There is another sermon called Max Lucado – Anxious For Nothing on YouTube that I’ve watched twice in the last two days.  It’s a great teaching on anxiety based on Philippians 4:4-9 with a couple of corny jokes sprinkled in.  I love it when he tells the audience to not meditate on the mess, but to set your gaze on God.  He poses these questions to help us focus on God:

Is God greater than your problem?  Has God ever faced this problem before?  Does God have solutions you’ve not thought of?  Has God got you through these types of things before?  Does God have a good track record?  Is God strong?  Is God sovereign?  Is God still on the thrown? Is He over all?

Two days ago, a gentleman from my work prayed for me when I asked him how he would pray about the coronavirus fallout.  It was definitely a “God thing” that this coworker showed up in my doorway when he did and a “God thing” that he said what he said in prayer.  Like Max Lucado’s question above, my coworker also posed the question while praying that maybe God had solutions that we hadn’t thought of.  I believe my time with this coworker turned out to be another case of God using someone unexpected to get through to me and let me know that He’s here with me.

Please continue to communicate with others during these turbulent times and share positive things that you and others can use to drive out anxiety.  As Lucado said in his sermon I referred to above, “anxiety and gratitude cannot share the same heart.”  You never know when you’ll be the tool God uses to get through to someone else or who God may be using to get through to you.

Lord God, thanks for showing us some sun yesterday.

Tim