The Little Things

It was all I could do to keep from laughing aloud as my two-year-old daughter Autumn laid upon my arm crying, unwilling to give herself up to the nap she so desperately needed. I knew where the laughter was coming from, but still bit my free hand to keep the laughter in. I did not want Autumn to think I was making fun of her. Yesterday, the tantrum that my tired daughter was now throwing would have made me wish that her mother was dealing with it far away from me, but today I cherished the annoying cry – that amused me.

Last night I heard Noah cry for the first time in over a month. Sure, it was I that made him cry and that saddens me. I tried to sneak his pacifier in his mouth at the end of a yawn, which caused him to gag, spit up a little, and let out a short cry - but that is not the point. Hearing him cry just made my day, even more than seeing and holding him. For this meant that his vocal chords might not be paralyzed. It is not uncommon for infants who've been on a ventilator for a length of time to come off with paralyzed vocal chords. Since Noah's surgery, his face has made the expressions that would seem to indicate that he was upset but he has never made much noise, which was starting to scare his mother and me. For now, at least, we've been given a little hope.

Sometimes the little things give us the hope and strength we need to keep us from going crazy when facing a possibly lengthy stay in the hospital. Most people wouldn't think much of a baby sucking on a pacifier. To Maria and me, though, that means that Noah hasn't lost the instinct to suck after having nutritive drips and breast milk pumped directly into his intestines since he has been born. Or, how about the first time he pulled his feeding tube out? We finally saw him as a kid being a kid. Or, how about the first time I saw him open his eyes after coming off the sedatives? I could write a whole heartwarming novel about that!

Speaking of little things making big impacts, Noah's neighbor, a seven-month-old girl, was taken outside today for the first time in her life. A simple stroller ride out the door must have given her parents and big sister a lot of hope and strength. So, here's to Erika - You go girl!

Love to all,
Tim