What We Do Do

My family has been given so much. Last year when we found out that our son would enter into the world with essentially half a heart, we were, well, disheartened. We didn’t know how we would survive the estimated month-long stay in the hospital. It is now more than three and a half months since we checked into the hospital and still we are waiting to bring Noah home. The time has been long, but bearable. It has been bearable mainly because of the support we have received from family, friends, and strangers.

My wife and I wish to someday be able to give back to society at least what has been given to us. We would like to be able to volunteer our time and talents to the Ronald McDonald House and to a fund raising campaign for Duke Children’s. We would like to team up with a children’s heart association and an organ transplant support group to provide support for families of children with heart defects and to encourage organ donation. There are many grand things that Maria and I would like to do when our own family doesn’t need us as much.

In the meantime, we have been enjoying being able to give back on a smaller scale. One way that we’ve been able to do so that doesn’t require much time and energy from us is by offering support, and hopefully comfort, to the new families that come to the Ronald McDonald House. One can easily distinguish the new families from the families that have spent time at the house. The new families look lost, worried and uncomfortable, and usually eat their dinner at a table by themselves, rarely opening their mouths other than to take a bite.

When Maria and I notice them, usually at a dinner provided to house guests, we allow them to finish eating then go introduce ourselves. We exchange names then ask if they have a child in the hospital. To that, they usually open up and share their story. Then we use Noah’s story to offer them encouragement. I can’t yet consider Noah’s story a success story, not until we bring him home anyway, but it is filled with good fortune and blessings. Finally, we encourage the new family to ask if they have any questions and tell them that it’s OK if they forget our names and have to ask again.

Having once been the new family, I can tell you that it’s a scary situation to have to be away from home because your child has to be in the hospital, even if you’ve had months to prepare for it. But to have a network of supporters makes a huge difference. Since Maria and I have learned that we can be someone else’s supporters, it has made our time in the hospital that much more positive. It’s a small way of giving back but it feels great when you see the faces of the new families turn from concern to smiles when we talk to them.